It's Real

So, I'm really bad at this blogging stuff, but being that I'm spending some sick time at home with a bad cold I figured I'd take some time to update everyone.

So, last Wednedsay we had another baby-mama appointment. It was short and quick, but one of the most exciting ones so far. We heard little Bean's heartbeat for the first time. It was a moment that made everything more real. It's difficult right now because I'm starting to feel better (fatigue wise) but I'm not officially showing yet, or feeling any baby movements...so the hearbeat really brought things home. But in looking at all the baby sites, I should start showing any time now and movements are right around the corner!

Our visit did bring up our first of many decisions that John and I must make along the road through parenthood. We're reaching a time where a first screening test will be done, one to test for Downs Syndrome and neural tube defects. We could opt to have the testing or not have the testing, with it just letting us know if there are any problems. John and I decided to do some research on whether any of these defects can be corrected before birth. If they can, then we'll have the testing. However, if there's nothing that we'll be able to do to correct any issues, then I'd rather not have the testing. If my only choice will be to terminate the pregnancy or let nature take its course, then nature it will be. As difficult as I know it would be having a baby that has a disability, or worse yet is stillborn or dies shortly after birth, I still strongly believe that event the most difficult life events have a message to be learned, and I won't tempt fate or play with my path.

It's hard to believe that my next visit we'll be setting up my 20 week ultrasound, when we'll finally learn if Bean will be born with a taco or a bannana! Then the planning can really begin. I've started my registries and gotten everthing on there I can without knowing the sex of the baby. There's so many things, and I don't want to be one of those moms who needs all the primo stuff, but I also want to have things to make my life easier. There's some things that I'm just amazed at the price of! Co-sleepers, breast pumps, changing tables...WOW! But there's also some really cool stuff that will really make life easier. Looking at all that stuff makes me that much more excited to have Bean in my arms...

I can't wait!